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I would like to thank you for everything you're doing for us. It means a lot to me that you notice everything that's going on & you're taking the time to help us out with it. You don't need to, but you choose to. I really appreciate and I'm really thankful for it. My friends are getting hurt and I don't like seeing people down. I'm the kind of person who would rather see someone smile, especially a friend! Your email to me really helped me feel better! So thank you Carly! You're amazing :)
Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m glad I could make you feel better and I’m here for you guys if you need it. I can’t stand to see anyone get bullied or picked on and we all need to learn how to be more responsible online :)
I'm sorry about your losses and your brother. I strongly agree that words hurt. I agree that we shouldn't say hateful things. I will make a post and hopefully it will calm down anyone that is still angry about this situation. I'm sorry you got involved in this because it should have never happened, but in the end you spread a great message about bullying. Thank you for understanding.
Your post is mature and thoughtful and I sincerely appreciate it. I’m glad you realized that this was not about anyone in particular and I hope that you guys continue to be fans of the band and share your love for them online.
I'm sorry about anything said about you. I was wrong to write these things based on what I was told. I think everyone was still frustrating over the night on twitter, but now we all agree that it's time to move on. Again, sincere apologies about what I said. I understand words can hurt. I've seen people suffered/die around me because of bullying. I know it should never happen, but sometimes we say things we don't think when we are angry.
I appreciate that and thank you for apologizing. Perhaps you can comment that on your post under the negative things you said. I too, have lost many friends to bullying and suicide and have been on the receiving end of bullying. Even recently with my brother’s departure from the band have we had to deal with hateful things and lies being spread. I may be older and things don’t bother me the same but words do hurt.
Obviously this whole thing got out of hand, but the best we can do is to go on with our lives and forget about this. We all feel sorry in a way, because it made everyone look bad. None of us wanted to get in a fight like that. Again, if you do or say something you have to deal with the consequences. I agree with you about the bullying part, but I assure you that none of us did this.
I agree with you and I appreciate your message. I wish that you would have spoken with me first before writing something negative about me on your blog and taking what I said out of context. I am on the side of anyone who has been or is being bullied and that is all. I did not ignore Kayla, but did not appreciate her constantly writing that I was biased and condoning bullying. I was not in a position to rehash an argument I had no first hand knowledge of and this chat was not about any one incident but about all the bullying and negativity I see online. I speak to students and youth groups about bullying online and this was to bring it to all of you in my twitter/fb world who have experienced it.
I believe that no one was intentionally being a bully but everyone involved came across that way.
Thank you for the nice comment and I’m sorry that you’ve been on the receiving end of bullies.
To clarify on your other point where you think I’m biased and condoning the negativity posted online.
I prefaced my whole chat by saying I was not naming any names or singling anyone out. Kayla kept posting that I was biased and condoning what the young girl said and that was not true at all. I was not ignoring her but was not going to rehash the entire thing again, which I had no first hand knowledge of. That is why I said I was not putting up with it and would block her if it she continued to say that I was biased and condoning it.
I also think that whomever suggested starting the “I Hate Jules” tumblr added to proving her right. Who would ever do such a thing as to create a public forum to hate on another person, especially a young girl?
This chat was to open the conversation towards an anti-bullying initiative that I am putting together. Again, not to point fingers, not to name names. It was not about anyone in particular and I stated first off that the girl should not have posted the comment, that it was wrong and that I told her this.
I did say that anyone who attacked her maliciously was proving her point. I completely understand not agreeing with what someone says. But to then attack them for it and to continue attacking them after they apologized is also wrong.
No matter who said what, who started or finished it. No one should be bullying or being mean to anyone else online.
I hope this clears things up and please feel free to connect with me if you’d like to discuss further.
First thing I need to say is, this is my blog and it’s public. I’m not going to hide my opinion, no matter what anyone says to me right now. I’m allowed to voice my opinion basically the way this girl voiced her opinion that ”50% of DWW fans are dope.. 20% are unknown, and 30% are straight up bitches. Haha”
Now, I’m not one for condoning bullying. At all. I was bullied for most of my life throughout grammar school and high school, so I know how it feels. But at the same time, how is this phrase here not considered bullying either?
I thought Carly-Anne shared a great message about bullying. I’m completely satisfied with what she said about defending yourself. I’m happy that she’s brought the entire topic of bullying to light.
When Carly says that “we basically proved her point [that 30% of fans are bitches] by attacking her”, it completely nullifies her argument (not to mention pissed a few people off in the chat). This automatically made her biased, and she clearly was not willing to listen to both sides since she shot down what tothestars91 (Kayla) kept saying. To completely ignore what Kayla said and threaten to block her from the chat (when nothing she said was rude), made what this girl said about bitchy fans condoned.
And before you all start freaking out that I’m bullying right now, read again. I’m not. If you have an opinion that is different from mine, I’m willing to talk about it rationally. This has nothing to do with her age, this has nothing to do with who said what throughout the fight. This really doesn’t even have to do with the fight. Everyone needs to be conscious of their actions in regards to what they say. If you post something profound that might be hurtful, you need to understand that at times there are consequences to your actions.
We are all supposed to be on the same side. We are all fans of the same band. It’s the same old argument that no fan is better than the other (whether you’ve seen them eleven times or one time [or none], been to many meet and greets or none at all, have the band members follow you, etc).
It’s time to move past this and just enjoy Down With Webster’s music. Is everyone good with that? I know I am.
My chat today was about bullying online and how no one should do it or have to deal with it. I prefaced the whole chat by saying that this was not about anyone in particular and that I was not taking sides. I said I would be using some recent examples that I had seen to show that it was wrong and used examples from my own experience and life to get the point across that bullying is wrong, no matter how old you are. I also spoke about being careful of what you put online because it will come back to haunt you when you are older and looking for a job.
To be clear I do not know who each and every person is by their twitter handle and had no idea that this comment was made by Jules until after the fact.
I again will say this in a public forum in my own words so it cannot be misconstrued as it clearly has been.
I do not condone what the younger girl said about 30% bitches. It was wrong of her to write this in a public forum and should not have been posted. I told her that and made it clear in my chat today.
I did say that anyone who attacked her maliciously proved her statistic to be correct and that those who continued to attack her after she apologized were again proving her statistic to be true.
Today I saw a post on here about wanting to start an “I hate Jules” tumblr - which is bullying and promoting hate - and there were quite a few comments on it.
No one should use an online forum to bully anyone else. It is cowardly and wrong and there are far more important things going on in the world that I wish people would spend even 1/3 of the effort that they do fighting. I do think that someone who is older should know better than a young girl in her early teens and is in a position to give advice and not hate.
I don’t believe that anyone was trying to bully anyone else, but the fact is that is what all sides were doing. It clearly upset the people who felt the comment was directed at them and in turn they lashed out.
I urge all of you to join me in stopping the fighting and bullying online and I hope this clears up what I said and what my intentions are. If anyone is being bullied there is somewhere they can go to for advice and to learn how to help stop it.
Should anyone have questions, comments or anything they’d like to share with me. Please feel free to get in touch.
I’m really annoyed by the fact that people think we bullied Jules. We didn’t. We said what we were thinking about her tweet.
My problem is, her friends got involved in this and THEY TRIED to bullied us.
We all tried to stated our opinions about Jules to Jules. In no way we tried to bring her down. She probably saw this as attacking her, but she can’t expect to say things like this without anyone saying something. She won’t always be able to say it’s because she’s young. One day she’s gonna be older and will have to deal with the consequences of her actions.
My other problem is, Carly-Ann doesn’t really know anything. She saw the bullshit going on and thought we were bullying Jules. She loves Jules so she’s on her side obviously. She said we proved Jules right, BUT if stating an opinion and defending this opinion ‘til the end is being a bitch, then I will accept it.
I’m still mad about this whole thing, but I’d rather forget about it and forget about Jules existence. She’s not worth my time. This whole thing makes us Tumblr girls look bad and I am sorry for this. It should have never happened like this, but it did and we can’t go back.
I wish I could go back in time and never said a word, because now we look like bad people. When in fact, we defended all the DWW fans that are scared to voiced their opinions. We got tired of Jules bullshit. We were angry.
But now that’s it’s over, I want to move on.
Now, if anyone has anything to say about this; don’t go anon and hate on us. We were not anon on Twitter and we are still dealing with the consequences.